Et Tu, Ken Burns?

Posted on January 16th, 2009 at 9:45 am

Ken Burns is planning on adding an update called The Tenth Inning to his documentary on baseball – that’s good news because I like his work.

The bad news?  I am hoping this is taken out of context:

“We live in the age of Viagra,” he said. “People take (medications) to make things better. Why would players be any different?”

To answer his moronic question, let me just posit: steroids are harmful to the body.  Last time I checked, that Little Blue Pill he mentioned doesn’t shorten one’s life span.

Ken, if you are OK with making things better, can we go back to Bouton’s days and also allow Little Green Meanies?  Heck, let’s just skip that and allow crack!

Sigh, oh well, so much for dreaming of a sport that returns to being honest and wholesome.  Nice quote, Ken.

Richard Justice demands his right to be the Supreme Idiot of Sports Writers

Posted on January 13th, 2009 at 6:44 pm

i try to not read Richard Justice: he’s a hack who creates strawmen and feigns sincerity in almost all of his posts.  he is the proof that the Old Media should be taken out back and shot.  post haste.

nonetheless, while surfing via Google News i clicked through a link about the Texan’s new DC that took me to quite possibly the dumbest post title in the entire Roger “The Liar” Clemens affair: Is Pettitte about to send Clemens to prison?

i have to assume that Richard writes his own post titles and doesn’t employ/allow an editor.  i am sure his ego wouldn’t let that happen, despite the overall positive it would have on his work.

so, without further ado, let me get to the point: NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LIAR’S IMPENDING JAIL TERM OTHER THAN THE LIAR!

got it, “Justice”?  no stitches_for_snitches, no no_one_likes_a_tattle_tail, etc etc etc.  just like the rest of the spoiled, rich, ignorant sports millionaire class, The Liar has only himself and his moron attorney to blame.

end of story.

Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot

Posted on January 12th, 2009 at 3:51 pm

since the only real news concerning the Astros for 2009 is how deluded Ed Wade is about his off-season work, we’ll have to focus on other matters, like:

Rusty Hardin is the worst defense attorney you could have ever hired, Roger “The Liar” Clemens.  congrats!

looking forward to you actually doing a little time, Rog.  maybe prior to going inside you can ask Marion how her stint is going?

shaping up for a great season….

Posted on December 22nd, 2008 at 10:59 am

doesn’t take a trip to Delphi to forecast with precision that 2009 is gonna suck hard for major sports.  NPR’s Planet Money gives us some highlights.

while the Astros are not explicitly mentioned, let’s look at some key facts:

1) oil is no longer $140 barrel

2) Houston’s economy is driven mostly by the energy sector, re: oil

3) the national economy is in the shitter, unemployment is going up, people are worried

4) Wal-mart McLain is spending the best way he knows how: by locking up aging veterans that no one in their right mind would want/pick/choose

you heard it here first – gonna be a great season!

Crapped out in Vegas

Posted on December 13th, 2008 at 8:14 am

Ed Wade is back from Las Vegas…it appears that his attempt at bankroll management is right on schedule.

no real news in this post – the Astros have done pretty much nothing that is exciting and they are already blaming the economy for what will surely be a poor ticket sales season.

wonder how Yankees games will sell?  no one is excited about Sabathia or Burnett, right?

in other news, Wal-mart profits are up.  go Drayton!

ttfn!

Bud Selig (and Drayton McLane too!) does not care for Baseball People

Posted on September 22nd, 2008 at 6:56 am

there is some press coming out about Bud Selig and the decision to require the Astros to play games directly after Hurricane Ike.  I can only venture to guess that the baseball media and punditry is just now paying attention to the matter due to Selig’s full-page ad in the Houston Chronicle.  otherwise, shouldn’t this have hit the media round about September 15th?

anyway, lots of fans are lining up to take shots at Selig – and they should – but let’s not forget who else is implicitly to blame: our man, Wal-mart McLane.

does anyone besides me think that Wal-mart McLane could have stopped this abomination?  i highly doubt had McLane pitched a fit and planned to take his complaints to the fans, Selig would have held his ground.

but one billionaire to another, all those guys saw was a chance for the Cubbies and the Astros to play a game for Selig’s hometown.

just another instance of our teams ownership and leadership not doing what is necessary and correct for our team and fans.

Drayton, seriously, please, sell the fscking team and let someone else who really cares about the product have a chance.  go back to selling cheap Chinese fiberboard crap and sucking at the teat of corporate America.

Old Sextilis is a pretty great month!

Posted on August 31st, 2008 at 4:44 pm

the Astros put up their best month of the year in August, going 21 and 9.  they swept the St. Louis cards to pull within three games of third place in the NL Central.  an amazing month.

even more amazing (and telling): Carlos Lee has been on the DL since August 9th; the Astros put up a 14 – 7 record without Lee and his $100mil contract.

image all that could have been possible if some of that money had been spent on pitching!

Win one for the Gipper!

Posted on August 25th, 2008 at 7:21 am

if things continue on the same path, the Astros are going to make another record in the month of August.

March/April: 13 – 16

May: 17 – 11

June: 10 – 16

July: 10 – 14

August: 16 – 7

that’s monthly win – loss records. OK, it’s not a record in a historical sense, but still, we gotta glom onto something good while it lasts.

the Astros have two 3-game series left in August; first up is Cincy starting tonight and then closing out the month are the dreaded St. Louis Cards.

hopefully we can not lose ground in the Cincy series, and gain ground in the Cards series.

Stupid is as stupid does: the Cecil Cooper Story

Posted on August 17th, 2008 at 3:18 pm

it’s hard to ignore Cecil Cooper’s skills.

Sunday, with the Astros leading the D-backs 3-0 and Roy Oswalt trying for a complete game, Cooper opted to bring in Jose Valverde.

Roy had 10 strikeouts, 2 walks, and allowed only 1 hit in eight innings.

to put the risk ratio out there for Coop’s decision:

Valverde: 56 games, 30 saves in 36 opportunities, ERA 4.23

Brandon Lidge: 52 games, 29 saves in 29 opportunities, ERA 2.15

you’ll of course remember LightHouse Lidge as the poor guy we gave away b/c he sucked. please do not impugn our coaching staff; it was all Lidge’s fault.

and let’s put today’s decision in further perspective: Roy at the close of eight innings had thrown 105 pitches. in last night’s embarrassment, Backe was allowed to bat in the 5th and returned to start the 6th inning with 104 pitches! by pitch #114, Cooper visited the mound and left him in. the rest is a record.

anyway, Valverde ended up not blowing it (he did allow a baserunner) and the Astros were not only able to avoid the sweep, but were able to win one for Biggio.

which leads me to another point: Cooper got very lucky with his piss poor decision making in Saturday night’s game; since Sunday was All Things Biggio, the press and the usual suspects, all shied away from reporting on the record “two grand slams by one pitcher in one game” story. water under the bridge!

is Cecil Cooper the new Morris Buttermaker?

Posted on August 16th, 2008 at 10:02 pm

thank god i didn’t pay for tonight’s tickets. i joked with my dad that he should send the stubs to Wal-mart McLane and ask for some satisfaction. we both had a hearty laugh at the folly of that.

in case anyone has missed it, those surging Astros, the ones who won finally got above .500 and were talked about by the local pundits as turning it around – those Astros finally faced a team that was not under .500: they lost Friday 11-2 and tonight 11-5.

to pour salt in the wound, for the first time ever, an Astros’ pitcher allowed two grand slams in one game. congrats to Backe, but even more to Cooper.

if you needed more proof that Cooper is a lost cause, then please take note. Backe gave up a grand slam in the first inning. then in the sixth inning, with his pitch count at 114 and bases loaded, Cooper pays a visit to the mound. AND LEAVES BACKE IN! result? second grand slam. one pitcher. same game. Astros record.

and yes, the bullpen had two pitchers up at the beginning of the inning. there is no excuse.

i am done with the Astros for this season. the management and coaching are a joke and devalue the skill and effort of the players who wear the uniform. any fool who continues to pay to see this team is rewarding an owner who cares very little about putting out a quality product.